Inese Dūka

Everwood

"A heart is a fragile thing. That's why we protect them so vigorously, give them away so rarely, and why it means so much when we do. Some hearts are more fragile than others. Purer, somehow. Like crystal in a world of glass, even the way they shatter is beautiful." (Everwood, Episode 218 - "Last Looks")

Size of romance

I have always loved the tiny romantic gestures that you sometimes can get from the opposite sex. Like I remember some 6 years ago I was taking the usual tram ride home. There was a bus that kept overtaking the tram and in that bus there was a guy looking at me. I guess I had caught his eye as after the second time he saw me he started smiling and waving. It lasted maybe for a minute or two. My tram went straight but his bus had to take a right turn. Before I saw him disappear I noticed that he had breathed on the cold glass of the bus window and drawn a heart…

Or when you sit in a plane and wait for it to leave the gate and you see that the guy standing outside and telling the plane where to turn is quite cute. And you lock eyes for a second. And you keep looking at him while he works. Then right before he turns to leave you give him a little wave… And he gives you a shy smile and waves back!

Or like when for a while you take the same road at the same time you start noticing people. And you meet them once, twice, from time to time. And then he’d smile or wink. But then there are the summer holidays. But today I saw the guy again. And he saw me and smiled – I was recognized… No mater how boiled my brain felt after I left the office, this one smile took that all away…

So who said that we only need grand gestures? I’m quite happy with these small ones. From time to time…

Ally Mcbeal said...

"I have a good job, great friends and a loving family. Infinite freedom and endless bubble baths. Is there anything more to want?..."

You're still young…

You know how always this phrase is used to tell us that there still is so much for us to do and see. And mostly this is considered to be a positive thing. But some people have looked beyond the general positivism of the idea of being young and have put it into words. The best example I know for this is written by a Latvian writer Māra Zālīte and it has been turned into a touching song by the band Lādezers.

Tu esi vēl jauns tev viss vēl priekšā,
vēl tava māte mirs un dzisīs tev uz rokām.
Ar sāpēm sapazīsies, satiksies ar mokām.
Vēl tevi draugi nodos, mīlestība smies.
Vēl jēgu meklēsi, un rūgti pievilsies.
Tu esi vēl jauns, tev viss vēl priekšā.
Vēl šausmās skatīsies uz grumbām un uz krokām,
kas seju krokos tik pēc sava prāta.
Kaut paēdis, tu allaž alksi sāta.
Tu esi vēl jauns, tev viss vēl priekšā.
Par visu maksāsi, ko dzīries ņemt par velti,
un nāves bailēs tu glābsi sevi.

The rough translation into English would be:

You're still young, everything's still ahead of you
Your mother will die and breathe her last breath in your arms
You'll get to know pain, you'll meet torment
You're friends will betray you, love will laugh at you
You'll look for the meaning and will be bitterly disappointed
You're still young, everything's still ahead of you
You'll look in horror at wrinkles and creases
That will wrinkle your face to their liking
Though you'll have eaten enough, you'll always crave for satiety
You're still young, everything's still ahead of you
You'll pay for everything you thought you'd take for free
And in fear of death you'll save yourself

Endless possibilities - go figure what life holds for you…

Part I: Dissection of a Catholic mind

Another month has passed with me walking around with the endless thought that I really should write something. Something about how I celebrated the New Year's. Something about the move. Something about my life here. But I'll see what I can do about it now…

New Year in Milan

Surprisingly enough I am very thankful to Kristīne for inviting me with her. Right after Christmas we went to Milan to join into something called Pilgrimage of Trust on Earth. This event is organized by the Taizé community. Kristīne had been to such an event in the previous year when it took place in Lisbon. But this turned out to be somewhat different, mostly due the very different weather conditions. If in Lisbon it was quite warm and people tended to spend their evenings out in the streets singing and playing guitars together, then here it was quite impossible because together with most of the participants arrived winter with snow… But nevertheless once we got talking to people these discussions at some point or another turned a bit more heated. Religion is a tough topic to talk about. Especially if you have been brought up to regard religion as one of the taboo topics for conversations with strangers. But here everybody was speaking their mind exactly about that. It would've been all nice and quiet if all of the people involved were Catholics. But there were Kristīne and myself. And it seems that we managed to stir up some controversial discussions in our discussion groups. You know me - at times I am rather direct in my way of speaking. Especially if that's how I can get people to talk. So I talked. And annoyed a Croatian guy named Hrvoje (he was our group's leader). Then his friend - another Hrvoje - offered his opinion and it turned out to be rather similar to mine. ;-)) So we ended up having quite an agitated discussion. But of course afterwards we agreed to disagree and thanked each other for the discussion. Even though at times I wanted to leave the room because I could not accept what was said, I still am glad I was a part of it because it reminded me what it was that I believed in.

Unfortunately there didn't arrive an opportunity to get into 'deeper waters' with the two Hrvojes. But another opportunity came and his name was Alfredo. For some reason he was willing to let Kristīne and me dissect his mind. I started my interrogation already at lunch and we ended up having dinner together all three of us discussing many aspects of a Catholic life. Especially how the values Kristīne and I had clashed or coincided with Alfredo's values. At times I had a feeling that we might have gotten ourselves into something that we can't really handle. But we still managed to leave the restaurant as friends. Perhaps now with a better understanding of each other…

So all in all it was most definitely a very valuable event to have attended. And besides everything what I have already said, I also was very glad to have seen Kristīne doing something that she enjoys. It was a nice gift from her to me right before we had to say god-bye for at least a year…

A short account of life in Brussels so far will follow. Hopefully rather shortly… ;-))

Troy

Hmmmm… food for thoughts you say?…. just got off the phone with Arta after a long discussion whether Troy is a good movie or not. Can’t say that we came to an agreement. Her case was mainly made up of the fact that the film is not true to Homer’s Illiad in a key point – the whole origin of the war for Troy. As the Greek mythology seems to be what she has read a lot growing up, Arta is upset that the role of gods has been left out of the movie almost totally.

I personally enjoyed the movie. Partially also because I don’t know the original story, so I was able to look at the movie as it is. I perceived it to be mainly about people’s passions of all kind. I guess I’d even say that in a way it is a chick-flick. After all it’s packed with extremely handsome and most of the time partially naked men. Brad Pitt looks really HOT in his short skirt… I must say that I really like him in such roles – handsome, strong and animalistic. I think he has an animalistic charisma and therefore it’s easy to believe his vigour when fighting and loving. In a way I think that this role is very similar to Tristan in The legends of the fall. But that already is a different story…

Food for thoughts

This is where I would like to express my feelings and thoughts about the things that give food for my thoughts. Mostly these are books, films and music. But at times it can be something completely different. So let yourself be surprised! ;-)